Holidays are a special time of year, where many of us travel home and gather with family members or old familiar friends. It’s also a time of year where bad habits surface and healthy habits tend to disappear especially when it comes to the consumption of food, alcohol, cigarettes as well as spending too much money on gifts.
There are many reasons why this may occur:
• Regression- People have a strong tendency to revert back to former patterns of behavior when they return to places from their past. This is reinforced by the people around them who revert back to old expectations of behavior based on a former “identity”. For example, if you were a “drinker” in college you may find yourself drinking with old college friends just out of habit or failure to forge healthier common ground.
AsktheCBT Tip: Be mindful of yourself and how you want to behave before the holidays occur. Set a reminder for yourself to focus on it just before you get together with people.
AsktheCBT Tip: Make a specific commitment. Don’t just say I don’t want to get drunk. Set a limit to the number of cocktails or the amount you will spend.
AsktheCBT Tip: Practice ways to say “No thank you”. This way when your Uncle Al invites you to sneak out after dinner for your ritualistic post meal cigarette you can be prepared with “Thanks but I quit a week ago and I want to enter the New Year feeling good rather than making promises”
• “Holiday Head”: The Cognitive Influence – Where you justify every indulgent behavior with some notion of “it’s a special occasion so its okay to over indulge.”
This goes with food as well as spending.
Here’s some news: Money is money and food is food whether you spend or eat it on a holiday or not, if you cannot afford it or your waist line is already being pushed to the limit then don’t justify it. Remember that the food and items will most likely be there tomorrow.
• Stress- Not only does stress cause a physiological response in the body that shuts down our ability to digest food properly but it also shuts down our bodies’ ability to detect when it’s truly hungry.
On top of that, studies show that overweight or obese people have a tendency to be more sensitive to certain external cues (e.g. taste, smell, social situations) than to internal cues (stomach motility) so in stressful situations heavier people are likely to over eat.
AsktheCBT Tip: Breathe deeply. You can manage your hormone levels by engaging in properly paced diaphragmatic breathing (see my article on breathing your way to happiness for instruction). This will shut down your fight or flight response and work to restore your bodies’ equilibrium before you reach for another serving of potatoes.
• Failure to exercise: Due to “holiday head” (rationalizing that the holidays are a
time to relax and kick back) or because of less free time around the holidays people tend to forgo their exercise routine.
This is actually the worse time of year to indulge in a sedentary lifestyle- As our body becomes sedentary our nervous systems begin to mellow out, becoming “Flat”- similar to the make up of a depressed person. Studies show that when people are depressed they seek ways to self medicate with alcohol, cigarettes, food and spending.
AsktheCBT Tip: Head it off at the pass! Don’t skimp on the exercise. If your gym is closed or operating on a limited schedule this is the time to take a walk outside or break out that DVD. The point is do something to get your body going for at least 20 minutes so you allow your body to secrete endorphins to liven your mood!
AsktheCBT Tip: If you exercise briefly before and after the meal you are more likely to maintain a healthy view throughout the dinner and will avoid the desire to snack before dinner starts.
Zipping it up: Don’t fail to enlist the support of others when trying to change behaviors. People who fail to ask for help from friends and family members because they are embarrassed, think they should be able to manage these things on their own or don’t want to be held accountable by others, reduce their chances of being successful. Why? Because as I already mentioned, people will expect you to behave the same unless you give them a reason to expect something different.
For more information about how to change your habits or manage your weight contact me at DrJayme@askthecbt.com or visit SculptNYC ,
* Do you have difficulty in some situations expressing thoughts, feelings or personal desires?
* Does fear of disapproval hinder your performance?
* Do you find saying “No” so difficult that you commonly endure undesired activity
* Do you have a pattern of suppressing bad feelings until one single event triggers explosions of resentment?
* Do you anticipate rejection or failure if assertive?
* Do you fear all conflict so much that you avoid stating your opinion?
* Do you avoid or suffer high levels of anxiety or discomfort in certain social interactions?
* Do you find yourself ruminating or consumed with worry when facing a threatening situation?
* Do you avoid dating or meeting new people?
If you answered yes to some of these questions, then you would probably benefit greatly from Group or Individual Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Social Shyness and Assertion Training.
Join me on Dec 20th for an extensive talk on what group therapy can do for you. I will be starting a new therapy group come the beginning of January and am looking for new members who are interested in expanding their lives and social skills.
Date: Sunday, December 20, 2009
Time: 3:00pm – 4:00pm
Location: Dr Albin West Midtown Office
36 West 44th Street `
Btw 5th & 6th Suite 701
New York, NY 10036
212-631-1133
Cognitive Behavior Therapy New York, NY
Stop Procrastination: An Interview with Dr. Jayme Albin, of “Ask The Cognitive Behavior Therapist”!
Procrastination is more than just being lazy or inability to follow through, its about self control problems and a belief that there is one ideal way to approach a problem or task.
If you are looking to work towards overcoming these habits the first place to start is by UNDERSTANDING your mental rules and automatic thoughts that overlay your behavior and then DECIDING FIRMLY to do something about it.
Dr. Albin: I use bio-feedback and meditation to help reduce stress and performance anxiety directly. Then I work on the cognitive patterns that are part of the procrastination trap — the “I’ll start when I’m ready” self-talk, or “it’s hopeless now”, or whatever it is.
For some helpful tips listen to the interview I gave on the Procrastination Special Show that broadcasted live on Sept 21, 2009 on the Tom on Leadership Blog Radio Show.
Click Here Dr Jayme Albin’s Speaks on Procrastination92109
Or if you don’t have the time to listen to the 15 minute interview 
then take a few minutes to look over the main take away points as Tom so nicely summed them up.
Procrastinators struggle with self-control behaviors. It often consists of:
* Self Defeating Thoughts, that lead to
* Anxiety, that triggers
* Avoidance Behaviors, which feed
* Self Defeating Thoughts, etc.
Often my clients don’t realize that performance comes from two things – Ability and Motivation. They focus on Ability, and when performance lags, they see it as reflecting on Ability, which saps their confidence.
Once they undermine their own self-confidence, they continue to lose Motivation. This self-perpetuates.
Another way to describe this is, once you feel high levels of anxiety, your body wants to reduce that and reduce the stress hormones associated with it. One way to get a very small and temporary reduction in the stress is to make an empty promise. The empty promise then kicks real work further into the future and guarantees a return to even higher levels of anxiety. Then the brain wants that small reduction even more, and you’re even more strongly tempted to make the empty promise.
There are five main themes that follow procrastinators:
-Over-estimating how much time is left
-Under-estimating how much time the task takes
-Later I’ll feel better (fooling themselves about future motivation levels)
-Later I’ll feel “right” (belief that emotion must be congruent with the task)
-Perfectionists (belief that everything must be perfect before they can start)
I work with the client to identify the pattern then they work to find different patterns that can combat the dysfunctional pattern. This involves challenging their beliefs and giving them multiple alternative self-talk options and behavior targets.
Try this:
One of my clients who complains that she gets lost in mundane activity such as internet surfing now has the assignment of starting each new task at the quarter-hour mark. If she finishes one task at 9:07, she has to start the next one at 9:15. This gives the client practice at time estimating (an opportunity to challenge her cognitive distortion of underestimating time) and lets her exercise her self-control against impulsiveness.
By working on a system where the person chooses from a menu of options and is partially aware of her self-control problems can help alleviate the behavior pattern. Activating one’s choice and helping one adapt better to situations as they change rather than fall rigidly into black and white patterns of behaviors can have a positive impact on productivity and motivation and reduce procrastination behaviors.
Self-control can definitely be strengthened. You have to want to!!! Many folks believe that “one day” they will suddenly achieve self-control without work.
I (Dr. Albin) counter this by looking to their mission and vision for themselves. Who do they want to be? What sort of aspirations do they have? This provides the impetus for additional change.
I (Dr. Albin) believe very strongly in working outside your comfort zone, so you always grow and change and lead an every greater and richer and more fulfilling life.
For more information:
Listen to entire broadcast that featured 3 other experts including:
Dr. Toni Galardi, Ph.D. of LifeQuake Enterprises
DeAnna Radaj of Bante Design LLC
Rita Emmett of Emmett Enterprises, Inc.
Dr. Jayme Albin, MA, Ph.D www.AsktheCognitiveBehaviorTherapist.com
Or read more of the expert advice on comments here on
For more information on consulting, coaching or clinical psychological services in New York or Los Angeles please contact DrJayme@askthecbt.com or 212-631-1133.
Dr. Albin works with groups and individuals providing cognitive behavior therapy and biofeedback.
DrJaymeAlbin.com Clinical/Consulting Services
